It is highly recommended, if you insist on reading this nonsense, that you start from the beginning. It's hard enough to follow that way. Archives on the right hand side list the oldest chapters first. You really should use it.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Chapter 0: "Issue Zero"



Since monolith come, nothing make sense.

Farta! Farta! Look what Tago find! Bang bang bone break things! Break other bone!


Break little rock!


Break Farta's head!



Farta? Farta? Uh-oh. What Tago do? Farta gone. Tago wonder if Tago be gone one day. Tago wonder if everybody in tribe be gone one day. Since monolith come, nothing make sense.

Hours pass.

Tago wish not hitted Farta in head with bang bang bone. Stupid bang bang bone. From now on, Tago only use little stick.

*scritch* *scratch* *scritch*

Hm. Look like corn. Tago wish female in heat season now. Tago want make-baby. Want female for make-babying with. Wait... Tago wonder?

*scritch* *scratch* *scritch* *scratch* *scritch*

That look good. Very make-baby-able female. Very...

*fap fap fap fap fap fap fap*

Hours pass.

Good porn. Tago proud. Tago draw good.

*sniff sniff*

Grapes been here long time. So much juice. Tago wonder if juice taste good?

*glug glug glug*

Tago like grape juice. Tago like grape juice a lot!

*glug glug glug*

Hours pass.

*hic* Tago... Tago draw female with hairiest... hindquarter... ever....

*fap fap fap*


Who say that?

Uhnnn. Farta head....

Farta! Farta! Farta awake! Farta not gone! Tago glad! Hooray!

What happen to Farta?

Tago hitted Farta with bang bang bone. Tago not know Farta would fall down.

Farta must hit Tago in baby-maker now!

No! Before Farta hit Tago, Tago look at porn. See porn Tago make?

Porn look like female in heat with hairy hindquarters and baby-maker exposed.

Porn is. That what porn is. Farta like?

Porn make Farta wish female in heat here. Farta want make-baby.

*fap fap fap fap*

Yes, yes. Good Farta. Here, Farta try grape juice, too.

*glug glug glug*

Farta feel better, but Farta not like grape juice much.

Here. Farta try wheat water, too.

*glug glug glug*

*hic* Farta like wheat water! Farta like wheat water a lot!

Yes, yes. Good Farta. No hit Tago in baby-maker. Good Farta. Happy Farta.

*glug glug glug* *fap fap fap* *glug glug glug* *fap fap fap* *glug glug glug*

Hours pass.

Lissen. *hic* Farta lissen to Tago. Tago grunt now. Farta lissen.

Farta lissen. Grunt, Tago. *hic*

*hic* Lissen. This important. When Tago hitted Farta with bang bang bone, Farta falled down, not move. Tago thinked... Tago thinked... *hic*


Tago forgetted. Maybe something about Farta not always have dent in head? *hic* This grape juice really good.

Porn good, too.

Yessss. Gooood poooornn....

*glug glug glug* *fap fap fap* *glug glug glug* *fap fap fap* *glug glug glug*

And so our story begins. And I, your humble narrator, bid you, dear reader, adieu.

1 comment:

  1. concept is good, execution is terrible. If I could stomach reading more than a few lines it might have some redeeming qualities. Bad ripoffs of Beckett are not Beckett but they are bad. Reread Waiting for Godot then maybe you will understand the paucity of your attempt. Overall I give it a C- more as a comment on the overall lack of even mediocre writing.